News
Sony E3 Press Conference
June 9, in the year of our Lord 2014 -- Los
Angeles Memorial Sports Arena -- Sony had wonderful food
yet again this year. A very sunny evening to sit, rest our feet,
eat, drink, and eagerly anticipate the last press conference of
the day. Music blares inside the massive room. A massive wrap
around screen shows the Playstation logo, and has floating
images of the four Playstation buttons.
6PM CST the press conference is supposed to start. Sony is late
by five minutes before the lights finally go out. A video starts
it off. Some space exploration game on the planet Mars. Golden
age of man exploring the stars until a darkness finds us. Lookd
like another violent first person shooter. Families will want to
avoid Destiny.
Andrew House comes out to welcome us to the Sony press
conference. He brags on the Playstation 4 launch. He wants
Playstation to be the best place to play. Connected, highest
visuals, and no lone gamers allowed. He goes into a Destiny
promo. This anti-family game is first on Playstation 4. He also
announces a white Playstation 4 that bundles with that game.
Here comes a video for another game. Another ultra violent,
dark, macabre and morbid game. It is a horror game too. YUCK.
Zombies in this third person shooter. Bad language in The Order
1886 as well. Families are going to want to avoid this game.
A video for an indie looking title. Entwined is he name of this
game. It has a bird and a fish. Use the dual stick controls to
control both characters at the same time. At the end of the
level, they join into a dragon. They paint across the sky. Looks
like a good one for families.
Scott Roadie comes out to plug the game. The PS4 version is
available right now for download for 9.99. With PS3 and Vita to
come in the future. He now brings up the disgusting game
Infamous Second Son. One of those games families are avoiding
like the plague. He tortures us with a video of the new DLC.
LittleBigPlanet 3 is next up. Four players are showing this PS4
home console video game. The depth has been increased. He picks
up the pumpinator - it shoots out air. Oddsock is shown - he can
wall jump. Toggle is shown next. He is bigger and stronger - he
can push blocks for you. He can also shrink in size to fit in
small places. Swoop is another new character. He can fly.
Cooperative game play is shown. Sackboy can climb up nets on the
background. Game is looking awesome for families. A video of the
game is then shown. Coming in November
A video for Bloodborne is shown next. Another gross zombie
looking title. Blood, gore, macabre and morbid. Families will
run far, far away from this game.
As if that was not bad enough, then Far Cry 4 is shown next.
Sickening is the best way I can describe this macabre and morbid
title. Adam Boyes comes out. He plugs the Far Cry 4 on PS3 and
PS4. You can invite your friends to play even if they do not own
the game. He claims they are connected via social networking. He
shares some letters.
Another video for another zombie game. Aren't there enough of
those making our industry look bad? Gross does not even begin to
describe this game. Dead Island 2 is the game to avoid. He then
plugs Diablo III on the PS4. Another macabre and morbid game.
The gross games are not done. He now plugs Battlefield Hardline
with a video. The anti-family games just keep rolling on.
He announces a new partnership with Disney. Disney Infinity 2.0
collectors edition will be on PS3 and PS4. He uses profanity to
describe DLC on Destiny. He started good with Disney Infinity,
and then went into the macabre again.
Paradox Interactive is a new Sony partner. Video gets pretty
morbid. It is for Magicka 2. A game families avoid for a wide
array of reasons. Violence, magic, and gross humor.
After fifteen years, Grim Fandago will be coming back. Not sure
this game is worth applauding though. Looks kinda dark. Devolver
Digital is also partnering with Playstation. Broforce is
announced - looks ultra violent. Titan souls is a bit better.
Not a Hero is horrible looking. The worst of the bunch is
Hotline Miama 2. The Talos Principal might be okay. Looks like a
puzzle game.
Another video of a disgusting, twisted, nasty, macabre and
morbid video game. Avoid Let It Die at all costs.
Giant Squid and 505 Games next game was shown next. Abzu is the
name of the game. This will be on the Playstation 4. PSN
upcoming games were shown.
He announces one last game on the PS4. Animals in a forest are
shown. Looks alien. Space ships are also shown. Gets in the ship
and flies off. Gets violent in space. Back down to a planet
again. More violent shooting. No Mans Sky is the name of that
game. A second video is shown. May be 'T' for Teen.
The Sony PS Camera was plugged. Then they went into Project
Morpheus. The PSN was plugged, and Youtube is coming to the PSN.
Sony is going to let you interact with someone else's game.
They are now plugging free to play, where they claim it will be
free to play. As long as you are a PS Plus member -which you
have to pay for. They will have twenty-five free to play games
on PS4 in the coming months. Playstation Now is plugged. Comes
out July 21st. Will also go to the PS Vita. Playstation TV is
plugged.
A gross video for Mortal Kombat X is shown. Families will run
far from this ultra disgusting, gross, macabre and morbid title.
Powers is shown, as well as television specifically designed for
Playstation. Powers is a graphic novel. Unclear if it is family
friendly or not. Comes out in December. PS Plus members can
watch it for free.
Ratchet and Clank movie is shown. Nice little trailer for that
game.
Sony ends us off with the most macabre, morbid, and anti-family
games. The Last of Us going to PS4. Metal Gear Solid V, and
Batman Arkham Knight. Families will not be interested in any of
those.
Thanks us for attending.