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Ubisoft E3 Press Conference
June 9, in the year of our Lord 2014 -- An
intro video is shown - going over the last year of Ubisoft. I
don't think that will increase humility. But I could be wrong.
Another video showing the Standard hotel in LA, where Ubisoft
will show games to their fans. An advertisement for Uplay is
shown. Tons of gross violence. Even a cameo from Captain Jack
Sparrow. A thank you to the fans.
Then a break.
Now the show is underway. Rabbids come out. They eat, go to the
bathroom on a
plant, go into adult only content, and the wrist bands - like
Microsoft's that glow and shine.
Another break.
Lights go out. A video for a disgusting looking game. Looks like
Central America
in a war zone with a revolution. And here comes the lame blood,
violence, death,
and other macabre and morbid content. Disgusting content is
shown that could make intelligent people throw up. Tons of
blood, bad language, and mentally disturbed content. What is the
name of this game? Far Cry 4. Definitely one to avoid. Dan Hay
comes out to promote the game.
Now Aisha Tyler comes out, and is profane. She hates on people
who do not like her on the Internet. She continues her profanity
for no intelligent reason. This press conference is not for
children. Well none of them thus far today have been.
Just Dance 2015 is announced. 100 million players have played
this franchise. An
updated track list. A video of Just Dance 2015 is shown. Looks a
lot like Just
Dance 2014. Just different songs. Some new visual effects.
Coming this October.
Just Dance Now is announced. Jason Altman comes out to show how
it works on smart devices. Free app is plugged. How many in-app
purchases? Play this game with your smart phone. Tons of people
come out to dance with the app version Just Dance Now. The
Applause dance routine from Just Dance 2014 is shown.
We get to see Tom Clancy Division again. YUCK! Peter Mannerfelt
comes out to plug
this violent, disgusting video game. Families will want to flee
from this bloody,
repugnant video game.
The Crew is coming up next. They want to create coast to coast
in the US. No
loading screens. A sped up video was shown from Miami to Los
Angeles. The game is huge looking. Julian Gerghty comes out to
talk about The Crew. It takes two hours to get through the
entire road trip from coast to coast. They added the hill climb
skill. Four demos at E3. Ubisoft has two special seats for play
The Crew on. 11.11.2014 it comes out. It has potential.
Assassins Creed Unity is up next. Alex Amancio comes out to
describe the French
revolution. Where this ultra violent, bloody, macabre and morbid
game is shown. Families will want to pass. The lack of realism
hurts this game.
A new fitness game from Ubisoft. Shape Up is shown next. Charles
Huteau comes out to claim fitness is boring. They want gamers to
stay fit, and to keep it fun. He
wants to make your work out to be a game. This comes out on Xbox
One. Charles shows the piano feet. Two player competitive mode
is shown - push ups. The American employee won 39 to 32 over the
French player.
Valiant Hearts The Great War is shown. The horrors of the first
World War was
shown. This is about a rescue dog in World War I. Does not look
like it will be a
game for children. Looks very depressing. June 25th it comes
out.
Aisha does rehash of the show. Ubisoft CEO Yves Guillemot comes
out to talk. He
thanks all of us. Calls the media his fans. He congratulates the
Ubisoft team. He
wants to show one more game. Another violent looking game, team
combat game.